It seems my blog posts are starting to waver again. It could only mean one thing, things are going to get rougher, tougher and messier. As school begins soon enough, I doubt there would be any significant spare time for me to spend on my dear friends from VSPB. I would surely be spending my time off with chemistry and math consolidation at the current rate I am study while procrastinating. Addiction is the word. Its strange isn't it, for me to be lack of self-discipline, as I was from a CCA that emphasizes the need to self- discipline. However, after being four years in NPCC, what I realised that they have taught me was not self- discipline. Instead, its fear. Fearing of mistakes, fearing of NCOs or CIs reprimanding you. All this fear, made me learn to choose the option that gives me less trouble to deal with. In the end, I end up not telling the entire truth. Maybe, just maybe, its because of fear, that my heart starts to waver. To be honest, I am no longer as confident as the young Quinn back then which is quite disheartening. No moral courage, no values. Just what have I become? I myself do not know. I am just running from reality as I speak.
You guys might be wondering why I am "emoing" suddenly. Well, due to my procrastination, I went to watch this particular anime that began trigger my chain of thoughts. Death Note.In this anime, it shows a guy who is trapped within his ideals of changing the world into a better place. With the notebook, he instilled fear into the world by rerasing the existence anyone who did crimes. I won't go about telling you the ending. Go watch it yourself if you have the time. Its a great story with a sad ending.
After watching, I realised that I should begin to do some soul searching and how to better my self. For now, I will make this small simple vow. I, Quinn, will put my greatest efforts in everything I do. I hope to see a Quinn that is determined as he chases the goals present in his life while crushing anything that deters him. I will succeed for sure.
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